im not entirely sure whats life ahead, probably all my experience had the effect of settling my mind not to think, or probably im too scared to face reality, that’s why i always escape for mere diversion and waited for the world to begin shaping up outside

i had imagined many times that there’s a door of fun with no boredom, that would open and let me walk through and be in there,

but most of the time, what i see is a wolf, wolf is like a boredom behind the door waiting outside, and ready to eat me

sorely wounded...

im sorely wounded and fatally disillusioned in my trek across the disintegrating so called life,
but that's actually helpful, sometimes malign,
i learned to survive in a world where old certainties have been swept away

it may not it look like it seems,
but this is juts a start,
i will take life as a daunting task,
and i will try.

as i keep and sick and tired of saying
"im the guy who dont plan , and just live on a day to day basis"
doesnt mean i cant be better, hell yeah , i cant be perfect, but ill try to make it better
but im not gonna do it for others, im gonna do it for myself

another year?

it feels like your just getting closer and closer to the grave, that's why i dont see why people have to celebrate it. its just another year of possible wrinkles, more eyebags, more stress, it just make your mind occupied picturing old places you recollect from childhood places.
it just makes you think that your runnin out of time.
makes you think of the old certainties swept away.
all i could vision is a world from which everything i counted important had been banished or had willingly fled.

so for me
it should be just a year that pass underneath..