Changes

Everythin goes faster these days, its the newest revolution, i think.
Maybe its the only revolution we're addicted to, together with other form of matters, like fashion, party, drugs, sex, alcohol, rock and roll, gadgets and socialism, etc.. etc.., who cares? as long as its the edgy thing thats happening in ones own time, we're so all hooked on it. hooked to it and hooked on it. the new drug, the instant, the now.
maybe every generation produces a certain number of people who want change- change in its most drastic form.
is patience still a virtue? why not?. when we had to face the chaotic that made us believe something, or want something or do something. we want to be the cog in the wheel. just like in FB, its funny that were so cynical about people who post updates in every fuckin five minutes, who post nothing but their lameness. but come on.. it seems that were all just like them, we dont post not because we just want to, or it i just simply fun, or just for the heck. deep down in our diabolical thinking we know that we want ourselves to be notice, we want to be talked about, we want a lil attention. but anyway. what im saying is do we really need all of these stuff?.
most of the time we liberately follow our first impulse and fly without even thinking, specially when were lonely for soul company, as i am, i think. i have a tendency to believe im up and open for anythin, and sometimes this sense that i have nothing to lose makes me take risk i should not take. do this i should not do, and im one of thos erisky moods.. and oohh yeah.. here i am sounded like preaching like i knew eveythin, funny isn't? as if im not hooked up and addicted of all these things, as if i am responsible enough to control my emotions, as if im brave enough to manipulate all these inevitable peer.
ide like to believe im open for anything , and yet still asking why, am i a bad ass? why we want drastic change? why we're all seems to be a colonial mentality? what do we like so much about parties and alcohol?

Maybe im doin what we're all doin: haunting the space to find some interesting. maybe we have hunger for conversation? hunt for substantial being with whom we might learn or share our brain for an hour or two, maybe we just want to be notice? maybe we're just bored? or trying to fit in, or maybe we're lonely?

i dont know actually , and im not sure what i believe in now....

Assume.....

i feel Sorry for assuming things and then drawing conclusions from my assumptions. sometimes assuming that people look down upon my lack and inadequacy can lead me to anger ,fight and i feel like a victim .and almost always exaggerating them. now i learned to Take on a different outlook, Stop expecting sympathy, Don’t compare, help others and Forgive and forget the painful past. It’s behind

chilll....

It’s delightful to be alone but, oh! so horrible when you’re lonely but its better to leave it that way , than hurt yourself trying . things could be a lot worse, im tired of life, im tired of playing .i loved and never be loved….fake love ? i found myself in the dark. shadow….my own prison. i tried to step back , but theres no stepping back, i wanted to step back . but what does life matter, why go back to all that pain, sorrow and the aggravation of being good? besides, i already have plan a makeover in hell…..

afterlife!!

I wonder if anyone could stomach what I really am. Terrible, to walk and talk and wat and sleep and FUCK and grow OLD and SHIT and DIE only to be a SHAME and DISAPPOINTMENT to all who knows me.
Perverse of me to hang on for my life!
My life had gone astray. That am so FUCKED up I could use a knife, somebody told me that people who commit suicide or at least attempt to do it are neither weak nor stupid, that they are brave people who knows exactly what they want and dedicated enough to pursuit it and there’s nothing more courageous that running towards the unknown. Im about to believe it , about to be convince. But then I realized they’re not really running towards unknown, they’re actually running AWAY from the thing they wanted to be unknown… but what if souls float in solitary bubbles in the afterlife? Would you still fell something? Would you still have the thought of the past and suffer? Well, if there’s an afterlife I want to be in an existence of an egg, ohh yeah an egg, it could e a relief, to live without a body! No more illness, no hunger, no more fighting, no worries about how you look , no more shopping, no trash night, no weed, no viz, no booze, no sex, no sleep, no night and day of pain, no tears and no heartaches, it should be a limbo land, no better no worse

things about government establishment which i called underworld (like getting a postal ID, NBI clearance, filing a loan and cashing out government checks, even getting a passport) is that you have to fill out lot of forms, and they're full of impossible questions like your SSS number, your fathers date of birth, your mothers date of birth, your TIN number. not all people think to bring all this information, but they sure wish they had.
you fill out all the forms as best as you can and hand them into belligerent bureaucrats who hand them right back , and asking more question. how nice, how convenient , bullshit.....they have to start thinkin that they get compensate from our tax cuts . it is silly and childish game they play with you. its intolerable, as if you never existed if you cant remember your ID number. they dont actually care who you are or what your ID number is, theyre just tryin to delay your rightful progress. for the hell of it! the thing is , if you cant prove you were born, you might have to start over as a sperm. thats how they run things.

this is why ghost are seen wafting around their old homes, they are looking for their fuckin birth certificate. the original, not the photocopy

we ourselves mostly left and we barely realized it. but that's ok. i mean that's how we play in our job, work, bread and butter ( watever you wanna call it), its impossible to conceived a friends for keeps in work environment, so don't feel to dire and all that drama shit when you or someone have to leave, people come and go, we meet new friends, someone you spend 8 hours or more in a day, someone you booze party with, some one you shared getting lungs damage, someone you sip coffee with at Starbucks and shared office intrigues. then resign and leave them, then move to a different company , start learning new task, start of meeting new friends (oh.. not just meeting new friends, its picking up who's cool to chill with).. then start all over again putting much effort in blending in, discovering new coffee blends, starts making new office intrigues, then without us noticing that were forgetting the old ones, but we don't do it intentionally , its a cycle that juts happens that we have to deal with and get use to it, that's how it works...

journey not a destination

we always fuck the ones we love, but we dont always love the ones we fuck

we always reach the point where we’ll able to fuck them like a whore, make them baboy without minding , and still be good friends at the same time.

it was a journey , but not a destination

but when the journey will stop? and when we will know our destination?