you want to feel better about yourself.

im a dirt-poor alcoholic, most people would think i was confined to an insane asylum ,im veritable loser’s manifesto, I am the self-consumer of my woes D:

but that doesnt give you the right to talk about me behind my back if you want to feel better about yourself.
Think you’re so special? Maybe you’re actually just a gob of spit floating in the spit-bowl .
and if you think its a joke, fuck! its a incongruous joke...
and dont tell me those absurd lame excuse that they already knew it.
you just putting myself in a most awkward predicament..

you cannot bring back what you've said

its not that im freakin scared of what people may think about me..
DILIIGAF! (do i look like i give a fuck!)
i mean.. if they gonna ask me, ill answer it upfront,
its just i think , i dont have to say it out-loud.

but what the heck.....uve done it..
im not mad or fuming with rage about what uve said, im just hurt that you have to do it, instead of waiting for me to said it myself.

this shall pass

pUSHING cart, selling old bottles

i always wanna try living in a country area. place where i can be alone, place like a silent hill, with no blowing horn sounds and busy lights.
with no bumper to bumper jam pack.
place where i could think what i really want, and where i really wanna be.
know things that my senses fail to learn, because of my wanting to escape from reality, reality that i don't even know.

primarily to that plan living in a country area, i also wanna try living under the bridge and try to hang out with the folks pushing cart , buying old bottles to sell in a junkie shop.
or get jailed, yeah yeah.. get jailed, but i am thinking what crime should i commit to get in jail for like a day or two, hmm public scandal? hehehhe

i know i don't have to live that way, just for me to appreciate life and to feel contented,
it all ends up to us, we're the one who molds our path,


but i wanna try it anyway,
lets put it this way, how can you learn stuff you need to learn from school if you dont have the visual aids and materials...