EXTRA JOSS!!

sa tingin mo ang extra joss makakaboost pa ng energy kahit walang wala na? may extra joss ba para sa apathy? may extra joss ba para sa disillusionment? may extra joss ba sa pagod mo sa buhay at sa mga taong nasa paligid mo? i really can't pin-point what i've suddenly grown tired of. parang minsan masarap na lang tumunganga. minsan pag-gising ko sa umaga... 1 to 2 hours ako nakahiga at nakatunganga at walang iniisip. tamad ba tawag dun? san nanggaling yun? may extra joss ba para matanggal ang suya

mediocre biatch!!

here nothin to do, its 4 am. im dumbfounded on my desktop, and this is my second day in my first job , i was pissed because of the new enviroinment, enviroinment with mediocrecies , as if everybody was starin on us ( my friends who also got the job here )
as if everybodys waitin for our mistake, as if everybodys murmuring about us,
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr whut? because were new,
duh" were too far out way cooler than them , so i dnt give a fuck whether they like us or not..
theyre just a common people with a common mind with a common fashoin and a common job
heheheh
im not sayin were different, but the heck, at least we know were cool hehhehe
hayyyyyyyyyyyyy.... im not realy like this, it just spill from my mouth coz im just pissed...
alright then, ill just stop then, coz i might say more worse that u might think im bad
im really bored , tired , and sleepy
and i have to wait 4 hours more to wrap this up, this xhitty job,
FUCK!!!!

post, pose, poser, posuer

cielings,floors,computer. stare stare staring at
nothing. for the past 8 hours staring has been the
thing i found myself doin. I’ve been staring at the
screen dumbfounded, (friendster site to be exact)
ive noticed the bulletin(hell..! i haven’t check
this since i got a friendster account).why not check
it.. oh my gees, know what i found? a non sense
irritably posted bimbo trying hard message trying
to be cool, and one more thing, oh boy! how i hate
those surveys (pa.. cute).. i haven’t found any
interesting thing...


why not try post one. but i have nothing to write.
i cant find any interesting thing to write about.
of course, im not forced to write anything.
but since im not doin anythin,
aside from eat ,sleep, be in front of computer.
why not post one

and i start thinking what the hell im goin to
write... ahhhh.. why not criticized people who
kept on posting non sense message here in
bulletin, (that’s what im expert for.. me devil)
cant you post something else,? somethin
interesting? aww gahd i hate to the point that
they become what so they called "dumb ass"
they post something that caused someone irritably
and discomfort, i cant believed there people who are
actually has 50% below IQ . they are the
stereotypical thinkers, they are the person i
refuse to be. someone who doesn’t have own
perception, someone whos typically do things
because lot of people do it, someone who doesn’t
have they’re own style but think they’re cool, they
are the person called wanna bes.


they unknowingly subject me to category
that makes me cool.
he..he..he.. ( am i devil enough.ha..ha..ha..ha...)

ok its past lunch time.
Haftago.
im making myself look really bad here


anyway posting feels better, specially when you
feel like writing something. i recommend you guys
do the BLOG
im workin out on my blog right now but still under construction
tahnx to my friend shashayin pepperela (vang)
and gus ( a friend form UP)
who influence me to writeeven though i really don’t know to write (he..he..he..

gun!

Gun…gun was the thing I have in front of me. I was fuming with rage,
My tears are drippin , cryin was thing iv’e found my self doin for the past 3 days
After she started avoiding me,

I met her last 2 weeks ago, phases and things was really fast for us. We found ourselves in love with each other ( I dnt know if its love, but im pretty sure damn I feel good when im with her ) I’ve never been better when I met her. I never felt this ( well.. stupid to tell if I never felt this way before ) but yeahhh… with her its different,
I cherished every moment we spent together

We always go out see each other.
Just Saturday we go out on a date, it was really the most happiest moment for me..
Things were goin smoothly for us

Not until Sunday. We were suppose to meet. Well, she did went here but she didn’t stay long she didn’t even tell what’s wrong , I think something came up, but she never tell what it is

And my first initial reaction was mad, of course, coz she didn’t even told me where the hell she’s goin . the next day I was trying to reach her , but shes ignoring all my calls
She even ignore all my e-mails, ( we exchange mails , coz that’s the only communication we’ve got when she’s at work)

I don’t know what happen, I kept on calling her, kept on sending mails, but still I got nothing. I was confuse, I didn’t know what did I do , for her to ignore me,
I really don’t know what to think. Mhan .!!! I found my self madly in love with here
I don’t care if I might look like some kind of dumbass stupid guy.
The only thing in my mind now is to talk to her and learn what’s the real score between us.

I am crazy about her. i didn’t stop bugging her from mails, and last night she decided to reply, know what she said, she actually said that she was avoiding from falling from me. But she said she failed coz she love me and I’ve noticed it for the past 2 weeks, but she also said shes not ready for a relationship, she just simply want me to forget her…

Just like that.. just like that, easy for her to say, I kept on askin her why, whats wrong?
But shes not telling,
Something wrong with me?
What did I do?
I was pretty sad. Coz I lost the one I love , even we just been together for 2 weeks, im pretty sure about what I feel for her, I love her so much.. that’s why I was hurt so bad when she told me just forget about her..

I kept on sending mails asking her that we should talk, I want to know why….but shes not replying, she said we will talk but she never showed up, she even tell she’ll call but she never did.
She told me shes not buying any relationship title,, whoaahhhh I think I misunderstood what we were doin.
But it already cause me investing emotion to her, and I knew she did the same thing.

But why? What wrong, why she have to end it this way..
I was raging with anger and sadness at the same time, I felt like a total loser
I always end up being left alone,

Im sick and tired of waiting… love for me wasn’t really fair


I pick up the gun point it in my head..
And BANG!!!!!!!!

Hurt!!!!!!!

just check my mail , again,,,, still hoping i got one from you, but still nothin.
i deleted all the inbox so i can just easily check if i got new one
i was surprise when i saw i got one new message, i excitedly open it, but unfortunately is not from you, its just one of the subscription mail.
Damn. . i was sad, i was mad . its a mixed emotions I’ve got


i was sad coz i really felt left alone right now, i felt u didnt even care how i feel,
i was mad coz i havent still got any anwer from you, felt like your avoiding the situation

if u really wanna say somethin spill it out now, i really dont now what to think now
just a phone call or just a mail.. you dont even give effort to call or mail. what happen?
whats happening?

dont do this to me. Your really makin it hard for me and hurtin me at the same time
what did i do, for you to do this?
i was sick and tired of waiting, tell me now, i need an answer , for me to able to move on.

if thats what you want?

i really dont understand. why you have to do this.. im hurtin so bad...
pls..... you makin my life miserable.....
pls...pls....pls.....

im not used to this ( makin my self look dumbass, stupid , asshole)
pls... tell me,, dont hurt me this way......

aren’t you happy enough....

im so fucked up!!

im so fuked UP!!!
i woke up this morning.
tryin to figure out on what happened with everthing.
it seems that everything and everyone around me is just fucked up.
is this end or it's just me, saying enough.
i walk on the hazy street and started seeing flashbacks.
kept on walkin until i stop infront of the trian tracks.
on my view is a train out on it's tracks up in flames.
then i turn around and saw a hundred picture frames.
picture of what? picture of the past.
but it was strange coz' everything was moving fast.
but every person that hear speak is speakin slow.
then came a black crow.
everything was like a shitty ass show.
then i started thinkin on the down low.
i start to walk again, but in a different street.
on a bloody, quiet, lifeless street.
and then saw this fire probabaly like 20 feet away from me.
beside the fire there stood a tree.
behind me a store, then folls rush in coz' everything is free.
i went to the store and try to look if they have something for me.
im like 5 steps away from the store, but it was close, fuck is what i shout.
try to peek inside, seeing everything sold out.
i hed on on my quest for the answer on my question.
suddenly a group of people walk towards me giving me different oppinions.
i shouted " shut the fuck up" then they look straight to my eyes.
then one by one each say their good byes.
i decided to go home, and just lay my back on my bed.
and while im walkin' a flock of mufuckers dress in blue and the other red.
stop me,the blue ones ask to join em,but the red shouted no he is comin with us.
i told em " i ain't joinin' neither one of you guys, i rather take the local bus"
then them bitches move out my way, and i walk and went back home.
open my door, but it was dark, so i was tryin to see on the dark.
i trip and i snapped coz' i was just having a bad dream with end and a incubi.
then i open my eyes see my friends in front of me then shouted syke!!!!
seeing my face on a sigh....
fuck,,,man i am so HIGH!!!!!!!!!