Monday, June 19, 2006

putang ina

putang ina , tang ina, bwaka ng ina, mamatay na
i was really exausthed the whole day, i was expecting na mawawla yun just by seeing you
pero ano putang ina ka,
i was expecting you to cheer me up, but instead you put another burden on me
putang ina mo.
selfsih ka,
wala ka inisip kundi sarili mo
sarap magwala , sa mundong tulala ,
ang sarap maligaw, ang sarap mawala

Friday, June 16, 2006

bothered


something is still bothering me, i cant tell whether she like or not what im doin,
whether shes in a good or bad mood,
im not really used to guessing others people feelings, i
can't tell a person if their mad or something wrong with them,
im just reallly not good at it.yes ,
you can say im insensitive

how i wish i knew what she were thinking ,
i wish i knew what's in her mind
i wish i knew how to make her happy
for our realtionship will keep us bind.

i wish i knew what is wrong with me.
i wish i knew what is wrong and what is right.
i wish i knew how to put up evrythings right
,for me not to commit mistake once not even twice'

oh god! you knew how i love her
so please teach me how to keep her in my arm,
damn! im madly in love with her
that i will risk evrthing that i have.

i just wish i knew evrything,
how
when
why and ,what

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

little confuse


last night we had a fight,it was tiring because were havin an argue on the same thing over and over,
i just don’t understand why she was jealous with my friends, yes i know i promise her that we will watch a movie with my friends who also happened to be her friends and afterwards were not goin with them ( bar hopping after movie )
but then it didn’t came the way we planned, majority choose not to watch movie , instead just go bar hoping, so thats what happen, she and i went out with them,
first stop ( temple )i thought everything was runnin smoothly, coz i can she she’s enjoyin it, i was just surprised when i went to wash room, when i came back, she’s gone, she simply texted me that she wanna go home coz she’s not feelin well, i replied, i told her to come back, and she said she was already in a cab, and dont worry about her, i even ask her whats wrong , what i did wrong ,she said im not doin anythin wrong, she said she was just not feelin well, and dont worry about her, she even end her text with i love you,
so all the while i thought everything was OK,we went to another bar , and not more than half hour i received a text from her saying that she would like to see me on the coffee shop and she’s still in the area, so i went out to see herand not realizing she’s mad,we had a huge argument, again she’s jealous with our friends, i don’t understand why,so we talked i told her that we can go home , but she insist i should go back to our friends, but i also insist not to go back, just to calm her,
but shes insist that we should go back, while havin an arguesomeone texted her, and i saw the name paolo, but when i was about to read it, she simply deleted it, when i ask who the hell texted her , she said it was jona askin us to go back inside ( absinth )
but i saw it clearly its not jona, i saw clearly the name was paolo, and i told her that i saw it came from paolo, she said yes its her classmate ,simply text her good morning, gud morning is just a short text, but what i saw is a long text.
\nshes now startin to hide somethin from me\nso we settle inside ( absinth ) for not to ruin the night, we just acted in front of our friends that were OK\nand just cant see any reason why shes jealous, when she got all my time, and to think my friends is her friends too.\niwas really pretty much bothered, i dont know what to think, our relationship is in not so well situation.\nso.. i did borrow her mobile phone, and i found all her sent items to paolo. saying "take care", "im here" of course i dont wanna jump into a conclusion, i wanna give her a benefit of a doubt, but the i jsut cant see any good reason why she have to hide from me what is that paolo texting her\nso we settled, i acted normal for the sake of one of my friends who asked us to go out because , she too having truobles with her hubby.\nafter that, while with her goin home we started arguin again, i tried too much undertanding her,i told her my apology even i dont understand why shes actin that way.she cried , i cried.and the funny thing is we ended hugging each other.\nbut i know that doesnt stop there, she would still be jealous and always will be, so i just have to go along on what she want , to save our relationship, i love her so much,, and i dont know what to do if i lose her.\nbut then i was really bothered with that text from paolo, and one of my common friend told me she saw my GF malling , hanging out with other guy, a one good lookin guy, she with other guy , no one else but just the two of them, and she never told me that\nand evrytime i ask her about paolo, she get irrated, seems that shes avoising the issues, but i cant do anythin coz i dont want us to argue.i was just bothered why would that guy text her at 2 am, if that guy is some juts classmate, and why would she kept it from me.\ni really dont know what to think now.i dont know what to do...\ncan somebody pls.. tell me what to do",1]
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shes now startin to hide somethin from me
so we settle inside ( absinth ) for not to ruin the night, we just acted in front of our friends that were OK
and just cant see any reason why she’s jealous, when she got all my time, and to think my friends is her friends too.
I was really pretty much bothered, i don’t know what to think, our relationship is in not so well situation.
so.. i did borrow her mobile phone, and i found all her sent items to paolo. saying "take care", "im here" of course i dont wanna jump into a conclusion, i wanna give her a benefit of a doubt, but the i just cant see any good reason why she have to hide from me what is that paolo texting her
so we settled, i acted normal for the sake of one of my friends who asked us to go out because , she too having troubles with her hubby.
after that, while with her goin home we started arguing again, i tried too much understanding her,i told her my apology even i don’t understand why she’s actin that way.she cried , i cried. and the funny thing is we ended hugging each other.
but i know that doesn’t stop there, she would still be jealous and always will be, so i just have to go along on what she want , to save our relationship, i love her so much,, and i dont know what to do if i lose her.
but then i was really bothered with that text from paolo, and one of my common friend told me she saw my GF malling , hanging out with other guy, a one good lookin guy, she with other guy , no one else but just the two of them, and she never told me that
and evrytime i ask her about paolo, she get irrated, seems that shes avoising the issues, but i cant do anythin coz i don’t want us to argue.i was just bothered why would that guy text her at 2 am, if that guy is some juts classmate, and why would she kept it from me.
i really don’t know what to think now.i don’t know what to do...
can somebody pls.. tell me what to do , i dont wanna loose her"

me stupid?


i was stupid to fall , stupid enough to kill myself,i didnt realized it would happen this way, i never thought i wouldnt happened the way i thought, it didnt happend the way i planned.
i dont usually plan, i just live on a day to day basis, but when i finally met her , i started planning, she put my miserable life back into pieces, shes my evrythin.
but dont know what happen and what is happening, i tried too much to save the passion, to save the love , but yet it seems not enough.
i tried and still trying to undertsnd her, but she never understand me.
i was mad and sad that is it happening to us, but then i realized sometimes what i did was wrong, sometimes i was a little harsh on her.and i realized that if you really love someone , you have to understand, you have to give patience in able to save the relationship.and thats exactly what im doin.
sometimes too much is tiring, but then again , i lve her so much, thats why im giving her to much patience,im juts hoping that maybe someday she will understand me, and even if it takes forver. i will alaways be here for her.
now what im pretty sure thing about myself is i love her so much..i did take risk , i risk everythin just to be with her, and yet it seems not enough, i gave my all of my time for her to make her happy, but then again she thought i spent too much of my time with my friends
sometimes i wanna fed up, but then loving her is still holding me back
and i know that when you love someone you have to undertsnd heryou to trust her,
i love her , i understand and i trust her,hope she felt the same way for me

Saturday, June 10, 2006

loving her


i really dont know what to think right now
i really dont know what to do.
i really dont know what to react.
i was bothered on what is happening,i was scared that what im thinkin might be true.
oh gawd pls... dont let it happen,this is the first time i took a realtionship seriuosly , dead serious.i never felt this way before, lovin her is the way i only knew .

i dont want to happen thatv all risk i took will just came to nothing.
but if she really fall out and not happy with me,
i will let her go even if i know it will hurt me so bad,
if thats the only way to make her happy, ill set her free
i dont know what went wrong, i dont know why im always not good enough for them,
even if tried too hard,

i suppose it will always be that way, grrrrrrr, why all this things is happening to me, why life is not so fair to me.

why i always beein left alone, im such i big LOSER.

why she did that to me, i always give her all my time
i always undertstand her, but she never undertsnd me,
i tried to hard to please her in everyway.

she so possesive, she wanna know evythin what im doin, she even get jealous with my friends
i know ive been a little stubborn, but thats not enough for her to do this,

sometimes its tiring pleasing someone and explaning someone who will never understand you no matter how or no matter what,
i know sometime i wanna fed up and become too harsh on her,
well you cant blame me, i gave her my all, but then she think its not good enough
and yet im still trying to undertand her, i even tried too hard

god pls.. help me , tell me what to do
damn, i love her so much and i am willing to do anythin just to save the relationship