arrrggggg

i really wanted to move on, i want her to go , but she insisted that we should be remain friends.
im confuse coz i wanted her to go so i would easily forget, but i cant let her go, i cant refuse her from what she want us to be friend,

i was pretending that evrythin for me was ok,

last night i met her new boyfriend. it was the painful moment in my life, meeting the person that makin the one i love happy, coz shes no longer happy with me anymore.
i was out with my friends last night, tryin to cope up with my old life back again, thought it could help,

and what a coincidence that my ex was in that place too. she called me and wanted to meet us, coz my friends are her friends too , then she told me that her new Bf is goin to pick her up,
first i thought its ok, NO BIG DEAL, were just friends now, and i dont have to react anythin

but the moment i saw the new guy, BANG it broke my hurt, the wound start to bleed again.i wish i wasnt there

still love my used to call baby, im hurt that shes not with me anymore.

it hurt coz shes close , but yet shes far,

do you believed in saying that when two ex lovers, still stayin with each other, its either they still love each other or they really never.

i dont know what to believed, but i know she loved me, in fact she's madly in love with me and i can feel that for the past six months we've been together.

i know i made some mistakes before, and i feel so sorry about that.

what realy hurtin me most is the fact that she easily forget about us,
everytime she tells me that shes with her new BF, i pretend that everythin was Ok,
but inside, my tears wanna flow,

im still in love with her, i did everythin to forget her, but i cant get her out of my head,

i dont know why this thing had to happened, why i am always hurt,

everyday and everynight, i dont want to be alone, coz whenever im alone i couldn't stop myself from thinkin about her, and eventually cried all tears

why she stop from loving me, how could she easily fall for other guy, how could she easily forget our love

i love her so much, dont know what to do without her

im so fucked up, thats what they said

moving on little by little

now that she had someone.
now that im nothing to her.
it hurt me so bad that its easy for her to forget everythin about our past, just like that!

i wish knew that this was commin, so i could stop this from happening.
or maybe stop from loving her, for me not to hurt so bad this way.

shes like bugs that torture my head. mad thoughts that contaminate my soul
My heart yearns for her but she no longer hear it or see it or feel it.
All she do is shove me away, And the anger grows stronger
Rage is ripping me apart , The shreds that the lion has made me
I’m bloody,you don’t care
I scream out with agony,you don’t hear

im emotionally drained. she sucked the love within it out already
And I’m the one whose suffered the fucking consequences
I don’t need her pity
I don’t need her lies
I don’t need her feelings for me anymore

for once I will let go
Trust me. . . I know how to keep my promises
Do not laugh in my dirtied face.

im thankful that i have friends, friends that made me realized my cryin wasnt worth for.

i should stop crying for shes not cryin
i should stop lovin for shes not lovin

easiest way to move on , is forget all the sweetest memories,
rather think of what bad things she did, think of the things i hate about her
, put away my phone to fight the urge of calling or even texting her


theres a thin line between martyr and love,
and im all done with that.
theres a big world out there for me.

im gonna try open my heart to others to love, but not to use them to forget the pain she put in me, coz that might hurt someone.

i have to face tommorow alone,
get back with my old life and start again.

letting go sint that easy

almost 2 weeks, and i was drowning in misery on the first week,
cant eat, cant take a bath, not even brushing my teeth,
dont know what to do, until i realized that its my life been ruining and she dont fucking even care,
what the hell im doin with my life?
i learned to let go of someone you can never have back, its not like the end of the world, theres a thin line between love and martyr.

i thought i have to start a new life, i have to face tomorrow alone,
and i thought i was already moved on,


until i realized just now, as in now, now that im dumbfounded here on my screen.
that i was just fooling myself, trying hard to be strong,
but the truth is shes still all over me, even i tried making myself really busy, shes still on my head,
i see her face everywhere, i cant get rid of her,
damn i still love her and i cant accept the fact the she already left me.
with the reason i don't still understand,
she told me she left me because she love me and she don't wanna hurt me anymore, WHAT THE FUCK! it was skeptical.
didn't she realized that she is hurting me more, , i just dont get the point,

she love me? but she has to leave me? what a great excuse to dump me,

i just want a little truth and honesty,
she could just simply spit on my face and told me that she fall out of love, and i will accept it with all my heart,
but instead she leave me those lies that makes me still hope.
why she cant just tell me the truth

why is she hurting me so this bad?
i still love her and ill do anything to have her back but i guess i really have to let her go if the feeling is gone.
but god. i swear i love her and i did everthing, i just dont understand why
god , god , god, thats the hardest thing to do, letting go of the one you really really love.

my heart is bleeding,
i cant let her go, i wont forget the moments weve been together
i dont know what to do, i wanna win her back,
go ahead call me bitter, you have no idea how hurt i am

i love her so much..... and i cant live without her

let go

I know I am in love with her, I have not a single doubt.
It is not how long I want to be with her,
it is how long I cannot be without.

I think she knows that I love her so,
She has given me reasons to believe, that I have many reasons to live.

The only thing that I want in this world, is to give her all the happiness I can give.
I have tried to encourage her that things will be fine, but I am still stuck by myself.
I am not mad or angry at her, I am just upset that she is not in my arms<
I want to make her smile and laugh, and feel loved, and protect her from any harm.

She means every bit of the world to me
Nothing in this world can change my feelings for her, they are engraved deeply in my heart; and from now until the end I will love and cherish her, and care for her like I have from the start.

I wish One day she will realize, exactly how I feel, but I am hoping that she will wake up, and see that this love is real; not for my benefit alone, but for hers to have and hold, and hopefully fall in love with me again someday.

I love her with all of my heart, and I would give everything I have from now until death to have her back in my life

never thought that we would separate, I never thought we'd be apart, but I will wish for the day she returns, and takes away my suffering and strife. Although my heart is hurting, I want to see her smile, because if all of this makes her life easier and happy, then I'd have to say it is all worth while.
no matter what happens from here on out, I am here for her until the end; whether she comes back to me to be her lover, or just simply needs a friend.

I promised you that I will always be here for you, and I am keeping that promise. Whether we ever again join hearts in love, or you just need me to be there for you as your friend, you will always be able to confide in me about anything. I'm here for you and I always will be.

why?

why i have this feelin that i gave everythin but its not enough?
why is it who's older has to understand,?
why is it who understand always has to sacrifice, ?
why is it evrythin seems not turned out right.?

damn! why some people just dont learned , they feel its not right but they still follow thier heart?

was it beacause they were afraid, that if they lose something they can't have it back?

what if that thing they have doesnt make them happy anymore?

wasnt they were just holding on it, beacause they afraid to start over again to find happiness.

afraid getting back to square one..


what if lettin go is just the answer? , answer that weve been searching our whole life.
what if lettin go will lead us to find real real happiness?

but theres no such thing as forever happiness...


oh god i realy dont know what to do and what to think.....

is this just another test of a relatonship?

how many test should i overcome?

how many? how long?